What Our Sons and Daughters Want from Us

What Our Sons and Daughters Want from Us

Excerpts from A Parent’s Guide to the Prevention of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Drug Use from the ” Community of Concern” As parents of adolescents, it can be difficult to know how to address drug and alcohol use. This survey was distributed to a representative group of students. These comments and answers are responses from 1041 students, our sons and daughters, the most important people to care for, listen to and protect. Here is the survey and the top five responses to each question.

What is the most important thing that people should know about alcohol and drugs?

  1. They can hurt you and are bad for you.
  2. They are dangerous and can kill you.
  3. They negatively affect your future and mess up your life.
  4. They are addictive.
  5. Drugs and alcohol are not cool-don’t use them.
“They are windows to depression, loss of many things and even death…they control you.”

What is your message to younger students about drugs/alcohol?

  1. Don’t do them – Just say, “NO”.
  2. Resist peer pressure-associate with people who don’t use them
  3. Be careful.
  4. Drugs and alcohol are not cool.
  5. Don’t drink and don’t ride with people who drink and drive.
“Although it may seem that drinking is not harmful and is fun, its effects can damage the course of your life.”

What do you want your parents to tell you about drugs/alcohol?

  1. Consequences of drugs and alcohol are both punitive and physical
  2. Don’t use drugs or alcohol.
  3. Everything they know-what drugs and alcohol did to their friends.
  4. Be careful. Be responsible.
“Let students know the dangers early in life so they don’t have to find out on their own.”

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A study released by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy found that 37% of teens said their parents are most likely to influence their decisions about sex. Friends came in second at 33%, followed by siblings at 6% and the media at 5%.

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What do you want your parents to do if they suspect you are using?

  1. Talk to me-confront me-ask me.
  2. Help me-get me to rehab.
  3. Stop me-help me quit.
  4. Punish me.
  5. Search my room for drugs or alcohol-test me-find out the source of alcohol or drugs.
“I want them to get me help as soon as possible without regard to my feelings about it.”

What do you want your friends to do if they think you have a problem?

  1. Tell me-confront me-talk to me.
  2. Get me help.
  3. Call my parents, pastor or counselor.
  4. Take the drugs or alcohol away – cut off the source.
  5. Be considerate and support me.
“Help me cope… stop me.”

What do you want the school to do if you get caught using drugs or alcohol?

  1. Help me-get me to rehab
  2. Punish me-progressive actions e.g. suspension, probation and rehabilitation
  3. Suspend me.
  4. Expel me.
  5. Give me a second chance.
“Get me help…give me necessary punishments.”